Don't Mess With Noodle
by Eternal Outsider
Summary: Title change. Murdoc gets a little lesson about messing around where someone should not mess around.


_Disclaimer: I don't own the Gorillaz,or anything associated with them at all. I just love writing about them and drawing them._

_This is meant to be a series of One Shots,so sit back and enjoy.

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This morning was just like every other at Kong, the sunlight abundant,and the light cirp of a bird here and there. And then there was the sound of a bowl of cereal crashing against a wall nearly missing a very frightened singer.

"Dullard,ya think fixing me a bowl a _your_ breakfast cereal is gonna fix the fact that you ate all of _mine. _ "Hell,wot's a man gotta do ta keep 'is own cereal 'round 'ere." Murdoc slammed himself in a chair and cracked open a can of beer.

"I didn' fink,yo' ate 'ereal?" 2D peered between his fingers at the bassist,trying with his own will to stop the impending headache rattling around his brain. The singer had just found his medication and hadn't had the time to take it before a very angered Murdoc entered the room looking for _his _cereal.

"See face-ache,you don't think,I don't 'ave to explain myself to you." The bassist glowered at the young man. 2D scowled and slammed himself into a chair as well,glancing over at the milk running down the wall.

"What the Hell!?" Russle slammed the door behind him looking at the bassist with rage in his vacant eyes.

"People did happen to be asleep,when a unnecessary crash awoke them,and I do hope you is plannen on cleanin that up." Russle snarled and opened the fridge searching for a quick fix.

Murdoc hid a smile underneath the can of beer pressed to his lips. "'ey,dillweed ate all of meh cereal and I just stated that I wasn't 'appy 'bout it is all. I'm sure you would have inflicted much more damage than that 'ad someone ate _your_ precious food. Man goes straight from the bed to the fridge." Murdoc mumbled the last part,but Russle heard it anyway. Russle had poured some milk and dipped his fingers in it,flicking it in the unsuspecting bassist's face. Murdoc jerked back as the stuff landed in his face and eyes,his lips slowly curling up into a snarl.

"Wot the 'ell wos that for?!" Russle smiled as Murdoc angrily ripped a napkin and wiped the stuff from his face.

"Lighten up ya old ornery bastard. Just milk,heh,could a been worse. Yeah an' you'd better be hopen' that it ain't you that eats my 'precious food'." Russle poured oatmeal in the milk and stirred it together.

Glaring at the large man,he watched in curiosity as he added three more packs of instant oatmeal into the concoction before stuffing a spoonful into his mouth.

"Ain't ya gonna cook that lards,that _is_ why it's called 'instant oatmeal',or is instant not fast enough fer yeh?" Murdoc smiled again at his own slandering jokes. 2D stared at him from across the table with his arms crossed,lost in some unseen world. "Wot's yer problem,dullard?" Murdoc's tone knocked him out of his daze.

"Oh,uh,um,nofink,wuz kinda wonderin 'bout Noodle,'aven't seen her this mornin'." 2D replied nervously corvering his head with his arms hoping nothing else would be hurled his way. Murdoc went back to his can of beer shaking his head as he stood up.

"Yeah where _is_ Noodle at,she don't usually stay in bed this late." Murdoc said as he glanced at his watch,it flashing 10:15 AM.

"She gets up mostly before any o' us do,is she sick?" 2D asked as his eyes scanned the door expecting Noodle to burst in.

"No,she don't wanna be bothered this mornin,she has a special mornin for every month so to speak. It seems ta happen on the same day of every month too." Russle stopped at that,not willing to go further than necessary,hoping and praying he didn't make any questions pop up.

"Rrreally,she never mentioned it to meh? I'll go see wot she is up to,if she's still sleepin,she'll be sorry." Murdoc put his hand on his hip and sucked up he rest of his beer and ringing the trash can with it and left the kitchen abruptly. 2D glanced at Russle who was looking at the door where Murdoc left with a look of horror,before slapping his hand over his eyes.

"That crackah ass,is gonna be in for a rude surprise if'in he gets on her bad side." Stuffing a spoonful into his mouth he picked up the news paper and began scanning the front page.

"Wot do ya mean Russ?" 2D asked edging his seat,he noticed Russle grimaced when he asked that. His white eyes widened and he looked at 2D with another look of horror,or it could have been humiliation.

"Aw Hell no,I don't want ta have ta explain it to ,no,no It ain't for men to understand,I'm feeling disgusted just thinkin about it myself,I'm ashamed to even know what's wrong with Noodle. Trust me boy,you'll be better off not knowing than knowing. Too gross!" Russle shuddered in disgust at whatever ran through his mind. Now intrigued,a smile grew on 2D's face as he inched closer to the drummer,still reeling in disgust.

"Aw,come on Russ,if you can know about it,I fink I can handle it." Russle glanced at 2D fighting back the laughter stuck in his throat.

"Boy you're in a league of yah own. But if you insist." Russle rubbed the back of his head and stared at the ceiling absently.

"Um,see,a woman,at a certain point when they get ta be older,not a child anymore,they get..mood swings,horrendous ones at that. One minute they be happy an' the next,you wish you hadn't looked 'em in the eye. That is as FAR,as I'm goin' k?" Russle realized when he finished talking that his nose was pressed against 2D's,who was now shuddering himself.

"Uh,ok,I fink." Russle smiled and pulled back patting 2D hard on the back making him hunch over from the force. 2D looked up again,feeling the need to press his life and that question,just an inch further.

"I still don see wot's so gross 'bout it?" Russle's smile dropped and he glared at the singer. 2D got the hint very quickly and backed off.

"Ok-ok,fo'get I asked." 2D looked away still wondering.

Meanwhile,on the way to Noodle's room Murdoc stopped to light a cigarette,and tripped over his own feet nearly falling down. Standing up to brush himself off he looked around cautiously to see if anyone had seen him. Smirking he continued and stopped at her door. Knoking lightly he puffed out smoke at the door,watching it roll off.

"Noods darling,time teh get up. You ain't one for bein lazy,and yeh ain't gonna start today." Pressing his ear to the door he waited for a reply,but heard a groan instead.

"I know yah 'ear me,now open up!" He stood puffing madly on the cigarette before he had realized it was finished. Crushing it in his hand and wincing he heard the faint reply and pressed his ear into the door trying to listen.

"Murdoc-san,I'm not feeling well today,I need the day off." Murdoc raised an eyebrow.

"Yah seemed fine yesterday,what makes today any different?"

"Murdoc-san,I said I do not feel well,I wish to be left alone for the time being." Noodle seemed agitated,but Mordoc being the man he is,pressed more and more.

"At least open the door so I can take a look at yah and make sure yer ok." He said taking out another cigarette.

"No Murdoc-san,It's nothing I can't handle on my own,arigato,but it's personal."

"Personal,nothing I do 'round here is personal cuz you guys always know my buisness,so I ain't gonna leave until you open up." He banged his fist on the door making it rattle with each hit.

Inside the room the 17 year old was fuming. Why couldn't that old man just go away,she didn't want to be bothered. She thought she had established that point by not coming down. Russle made the same mistake a few months ago,but being a very good friends with him,she didn't get that angry with him. She explained it to him making him run out of the room in disgust,and come to think of it,she had never seen _that_ man run _that_ fast anywhere. He knew about her 'girl problems' lightly from previous girlfriends,but never bother to learn about it any more. So to make a long story short,he knew every time she acted this way,to stay far away,but unfortunately for Murdoc,he was about to find out the hard way.

He knocked once more before his hand went through the air. Staring down at the small teenager he saw pure rage in her eyes.

"See darlin,yah look as good as ever. Now come on and 'ave some breakfast." He reached his hand out for her to grab but snapped it back as the look in her eyes turned darker,if he hadn't he thought she would have just bitten his hand off just now.

"Damn girl,what is your problem."

"Murdoc-san,how would you like to practice kung fu with me today,you remember,like I used to do with Russle-san?" The dark glare she was throwing Murdoc's way vanished and was replaced by one of her contagious smiles. Murdoc still seeing the look she had given him seconds before raised an eyebrow and looked into her eyes trying to search for what had suddenly make her change her attitude so quickly.

"Uh,maybe you're right. You may need to go lay back down." Murdoc reached for her door handle,but Noddle gabbed his dragging him to her practice room before he had any time to react making him drop the cigarette he never had the chance to light.

"No,no,Murdoc-san,you insisted that I get up and here I am,I just want a partner today,and you would be perfect. I just needed a strong man to help me brush up on my techniques." Murdoc's eyes widened and his pupils shrunk as he realized what she meant. Noodle squeezed his hand hard along the way making him wince. When they reached the room Noodle opened the door with her free hand,while with the other she slung Murdoc in the room making him stagger and land on his back.

"Shit,what with this slamming me around?!" He yelled and stood up cracking his neck in the process. He looked to where Noodle had been standing before and noticed she wasn't there.

"Noodle,I don want tah play games today,all I asked was for yeh to come down stairs and 'ave some breakfast,wot's so 'ard bout that."

He looked around cautiously and saw nothing. He could hear padding feet behind him but when he looked no one was there. He shrugged and was about to walk out when a foot slamming against his back sent him sprawling out onto his chest with an 'ohff'.

"You should know better old man. Now get up and fight me like one!" Noodle smiled and bent down low in a threatening pose waving her fingers for him to come at her.

"You know I ain't gonnah fight you Noodle!" He said standing up trying to catch his breath. She walked closer to him and grabbed his arm slinging him over her shoulder like he was a light as paper.

"Your loss." She smiled as he landed behind her with a satisfying thud.

2D jumped as the lights above shook and blinked along with the sound of something being thrown hard on the floor.

"AHHHOWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Russ,wot the 'ell was THAT!" He screamed as he grew uneasy.

"That my boy,is Murdoc finding out never to piss a woman off when she's on her 'period'."

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_A/N: rofl,poor Murdoc._


End file.
